So, apparently my town is the ghetto.

According to The Lowell Sun newspaper, cars are being torched on my street left and right. Why somebody can't torch my goddamned Mercury Sable is beyond me. It would make a wonderful bonfire.

So, yeah...I live in the ghetto. Check it out:

ABOUT 20 CARS STOLEN IN PELHAM SINCE JULY; MORE CARS TORCHED, VANDALIZED
By JACK MINCH, Sun Staff
PELHAM, N.H. -- Police are turning up the volume on their warnings to lock car doors in town.
About 20 vehicles have been stolen since mid-July, said Capt. Joseph Roark.
There are apparently three groups working the town, stealing cars, vandalizing property and breaking into cars, he said.
Town residents need to lock their vehicle doors, install sufficient lighting outside their homes and tell police when they see suspicious characters, Roark said.
In the latest vandalism, three cars were torched early Sunday morning.
Vandals set a vehicle on Leblanc Road on fire about 5 a.m. then stole a couple of go-cart style vehicles.
The went to the corner of Blueberry Circle and Pheasant Lane and lit a second vehicle on fire. The flames burned a third car.
One of the cars may have been a random act of destruction but the other was apparently targeted, Roark said.
Police have a list of suspects.


I'll leave the lights OFF today, folks...come and get it.