Minotaurs live above me.

I like my new condo. I really do. It's nothing special, but it's mine. It's cute. And it's a good size for me. The location is good, too.

But I need to vent.

I hate the fucking minotaurs who live above me.

How have I concluded that they are, in fact, minotaurs?

Well, for one, minotaurs have cloven hooves. And surely the beasts which live above me have them, because they clickety-clack all day long.

Minotaurs are big creatures. With the way these "individuals" walk above me, they obviously weigh one thousand pounds EACH. Minotaurs weight exactly one thousand pounds each. Well, I'm pretty sure they do. So, by deductive reasoning, my upstairs neighbors must be minotaurs.

Minotaurs make loud noises. Like farts and growling. I hear growling upstairs everyday. Ergo, minotaurs.

I can only pray that the minotaurs go away. Because I hate them.