It's okay to say the "F word."

My friend Ben asked me the other day, "What, in your opinion, is your worst habit?"

Well, I got to thinking about this and have realized that I, as close to perfect as I may be, have several bad habits. I eat too much junk food--especially cheese. I have a less than desirable temper at times (I blame this on the fact that I am Irish and that my father also has a terrible temper, ergo, it is inherited). I enjoy wine a bit too much (fortunately, I am more pleasant drunk than sober, so very few people tend to mind this habit). I am ridiculously clean; most people would view this as a good habit, but when you have the urge to shower after even the smallest chores, you wash your sheets every other day and have considered bathing your felines who clean themselves perfectly fine--well, that's kinda much.

But after much consideration, I have concluded that my worst habit is my uncontrollable urge to swear in pretty much every sentence that comes out of my mouth. Now, don't get me wrong--I CAN control it when I put my mind to it. It's not as if I go to black-tie cocktail parties in gorgeous ball gowns and blurt out a trail of curses that would make a drunken sailor blush. I don't go to boyfriends' parents' houses and curse. I CAN keep it in check and actually be a pretty classy lady when I put my mind to it.

The problem is that I don't put my mind to it enough.

I have a fair amount of difficulty telling a story without including the "f word" or some other vulgarity in it. Now, fortunately, people tend to find it pretty amusing. I tend to find it pretty amusing when others do the same thing. I have no idea why. Maybe it's because curse words are ever-so-slightly taboo. And well...taboo = more interesting, right?

I GENERALLY don't "aim" my curses toward others, although all bets are off when I am driving. For some reason, I guess I think that cursing makes my sometimes ordinary life appear a tad more interesting. I mean, I like to think I'm interesting in my own right. Jesus hates me, so He oftentimes has some pretty crazy shit happen to me (see what I mean? Can't tell a story without a curse!). It's okay, though--we're cool.

And I don't swear in my stories to be "cool" or anything. Really. It's more of a situation where I've just been doing it for so long that I don't know how to go about NOT including them in my stories. I've tried. Really, I have. On more than one occasion, I have made New Year's resolutions to cut down on the cursing. It lasted for about 3 minutes.

But then I got to thinking about it a little bit more. And I figured that if this is my worst habit, am I really that bad of a person? I mean, I'm not a whore. I don't kick babies or microwave kittens. I donate regularly to charities. I don't get wasted and then get behind the wheel. I've never killed anyone. I'm not too horrible, right?

Well, if you think I'm horrible, then fuck off.

Just kidding. ;-)