Thanks, Mom.

I volunteer about once a week at an animal shelter in my area. I'm not saying this to toot my own proverbial horn, trust me. I have a point.

I LOVE working at the shelter and if I had more time, I'd go much more often. It isn't really WORK to me because I enjoy it so much. Playing with the animals is so much fun for me--it's actually relaxing.

The kitties there typically love me. There is one cat there named Belle who doesn't let anyone else go near her. People literally have to wear those big-bird handling gloves just to get her litter box to clean it. However, this cat has taken such a liking to me that when she sees me, I must sit down and she jumps up on my lap and immediately starts purring and leaning her body into mine.

I always thought I had a way with animals.

That is, until my Mom adopted her cat.

I don't think I've ever come across a cat who has hated me so. If I walk into the room and he happens to be there, he'll either run away or look at me in disgust. Really. This cat has looks that say, "I would slit your throat in your sleep if you didn't shut your door every night." If I attempt to pet him, he runs.

The only time he is nice to me and rubs up against my legs is if I walk into the kitchen. This is because he has the delusional idea that if someone walks into the kitchen, it means that he is about to be fed. Obviously, this is not always so. Therefore, if I pull out anything other than a can of cat food from the fridge, he gives me a scary look and runs away.

It is as if I am his personal servant whom he happens to treat like shit.

Here's the kicker: he LOVES other people. Most animals get nervous around my father because he's a pretty damn big dude, but this cat is all over him. He sleeps right next to my mother every night and licks her face.

I don't know what I did to this cat to get him to loathe me, but it is obvious that he does. Very much so. Unless I have some Fancy Feast in my hand. Then, I'm his best friend.

So, I just wanted to publicly thank my mother for picking out such a wonderful feline. Really. Out of the craploads of other cats out there who actually adore me, you chose one of the very, very few (perhaps the ONLY one) who wants me to die a horrible, painful death.

I appreciate it.