Poodles.

There's nothing like driving to work and being stuck in traffic on route 62, only to witness a rather large, half-shaved poodle taking a massive dump on the sidewalk while his master eagerly awaits with a poop baggie.

I'm tellin' ya, kids...you just haven't lived until you've seen that at 7:45 a.m.

That is all.

Fuck you, Emergency Room.

I had to go to the Nashua Memorial Emergency Room on Monday night/Tuesday morning. Before you begin to wonder, I'm writing this right now so I assure you I didn't die.

My point is that that place is fucking unreal.

My folks and I walk in to find the place pretty jam-packed. So I'm like, "Shit...we'll have to wait awhile, huh?"

I walk up to the front desk and tell them my heart is racing a mile a minute and I'm cold and clammy and nauseated. I know I'm only 24 years old and only about 115 pounds but these are signs of a heart attack for a woman and I had had them for hours. I HATE hospitals, needles, and anything related to them and so I typically avoid them at all costs, but it was so bad that I actually agreed to go to the ER when my parents urged it.

Now one would think, when one goes up to the front desk of an ER and describes these symptoms, one would at least get a nurse to listen to one's chest with a stethoscope immediately. Or, I dunno...maybe get an EKG that takes all of two minutes?!?! If they had done this, I would not have minded waiting. The place was full and I understand that. I understand that if someone came in who was in a terrible car accident and was hurt quite badly that they are priority. I am not an unreasonable person. I simply expect some basic care so that they and I know that I am not about to keel over any second; I will then wait my turn.

But it was two fucking hours before a nurse even came by to take my fucking blood pressure. Are you JOKING me? Jesus, I KNOW it's not a fucking heart attack now because I'd be fucking DEAD, you morons! And it was yet another hour and fifteen minutes before they actually took me in to be seen by a doctor and hooked up to machines and shit.

But the best part is this, my friends: that emergency room is filled to the fucking brim with...ummm...interesting people. I mean, I get these people are sick--both mentally and physically. I'm not making fun here (well, maybe a LITTLE bit), but it's not exactly CALMING when you think you may be dying at the ripe old age of 24 and you're surrounded by schizophrenics who are LITERALLY whispering phrases to themselves such as, "I know I have schizophrenia, but it's not like I'd ever KILL anyone!" Yeah, not cool. Then a girl walks in with a bucket in hand, sits down across from me, and promptly violently vomits into it. On more than one occasion. Oh, and should I mention the near-fist-fight that almost occurred when some incredibly drunk lady starting playing with this Spanish guy's kids and he didn't much care for that? I mean, not that I blame him--I got intoxicated everytime the woman walked past me, like hell would I allow her anywhere near my kids if I had any.

And finally, the piece de resistance: the prostitute with blood all over her face, hair and hands, who came in with the two hot police officers. When questioned by the officers, said prostitute told them that her pimp beat her up. Yep. That's right. I guess that Monday was a slow night and she didn't make enough to please him.

So, I'm thinking: Monday night's entertainment was so wonderful, that this weekend I may make myself a cocktail and head over to Nashua Memorial. Better than any bar or lounge, and no cover charge. ;)

Al Sharpton & Jesse Jackson: kiss my Causcasian ass.

Listen. This post is going to sound harsh but I don’t give a shit. It needs to be said.

Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson are assholes.

There. I said it.

They are “imitation reverends.” These are not men of God. They are racists. They are hypocrites to the very CORE. They are trouble-makers. And I am SO FUCKING SICK of hearing them open their mouths.

Anyone who knows me knows I am not racist. Not anywhere close. I have Black friends, Mexican friends, White friends, Jewish friends, gay friends and other friends of many other races, ethnicities, religions and sexual preferences. And I love all of them dearly. I would take a bullet for anyone I consider a friend.

Basically, if you’re a decent human being, you could be purple with green hair and I just plain wouldn’t give a shit. One’s race, religion, gender or sexual preference has zero bearing on whether you have the potential to be liked by yours truly.

That also needed to be said. Don’t want people thinking I’m racist, you know. I’m a Caucasian and nowadays, we have to do all we can to protect our reputations or we’ll be accused forever and ever of being the worst kind of people. Just wanted to be clear.

So, I may not be racist. But you know what? I AM prejudiced. And I’m not afraid to say it.

I’m prejudiced against assholes like the “reverends” Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson using the race card every friggin’ chance they get.

Cut it the fuck out already!

If ANYTHING, African-Americans and some other minorities get considerably more rights than Caucasians do nowadays. Let me ask you: is there a United Caucasian College Fund? Nope—that’s racist, silly. But it’s fine for Blacks to have a United Negro College Fund. How about a WET TV station (White Entertainment Television)?

You know what? Scratch that. Sounds like a new porn channel. But you catch my drift. African-Americans have BET and that’s perfectly fine.

You want things equal, Mr. Sharpton and Mr. Jackson? You REALLY want things on a level playing field?

Well, if that’s the case, then tell the hundred of Black rap artists out there to stop using the word ‘nigger’ every three seconds in their lyrics.

Tell the Black community to stop using the same term everyday when addressing each other in the streets. Words like ‘nigger’ are NOT part of your “culture,” so quit justifying it as such.

Back people like Bill Cosby, who, while hardly a saint himself, at least has the common sense to see what is wrong with many members of the Black community and speak out against it.

Encourage Blacks to work hard throughout their lives to achieve good things instead of encouraging them to fight for the welfare check they apparently “deserve” from society because they were too lazy to do anything with their lives.

Stop trying to limit the vocabulary of Caucasians. It is fine for the Black community to say certain words, but not for the White community? Please. Equality means that all races have the same rights. Not that I have any desire to say the word ‘nigger’ in my everyday speech, but if you have the right to say it, then I should, too. If it's a supposed "derogatory term," it needs to be derogatory for EVERYONE.

Concentrate on issues that are actually problems within the Black community: Black-on-Black crime, unmarried mothers/wedlock births, high poverty rates, statistically low rates of Blacks continuing their education, etc. instead of stupid shit like Don Imus calling Black women “nappy-headed hos.”

Quit being so damn hypocritical by speaking out against hatred and informing people of how awful people like Don Imus are and then calling the Jewish community “hymies” or defending women who cry ‘rape’ and destroy the lives of young men who committed no such crime.

APOLOGIZE when you do something so incredibly wrong as tell the aforementioned young men—innocent, relatively upstanding students--how horrible they are when it has now been PROVEN that they were FALSELY ACCUSED of raping this woman.

Stop coming to the defense of women like this woman, Tawana Brawley. She is NOT mentally challenged. She is NOT emotionally challenged. You know what she is? She is a lying whore who has changed the lives of these poor kids forever—and NOT for the better. She should be in jail; she should not have a ‘scholarship fund’ set up for her as you so indicated. That's harsh but I don't give a fuck. I'm sick of political correctness.

And shut the fuck up about Don Imus already. I don’t like the guy and don’t really give a shit about him in particular. But at least he made the attempt to apologize and do the right thing in trying to meet with the people he insulted to make things right. What have YOU done to apologize to those former Duke students for publicly humiliating them despite their obvious innocence? What attempt have YOU done to make things right with them and with the millions of Caucasians (and other ethnicities) you have insulted worldwide with your idiotic remarks?

You have done NOTHING. You have done nothing but CREATE tension amongst the different ethnicities/races/religions throughout the world. And what’s worse is that you thrive and PROFIT from it. Yes, you actually make truckloads of money with your spew. You know why?

Because you are scum. And I truly believe that there is a special place in Hell for hypocritical, trouble-making bastards like you.