Bummin'.

So, I'm kinda bummin' today. What else is new, eh? I think I need to up my crazy meds dosage.

I need to go back to work. When I'm busy, I don't have time to think about how pathetic my life has become; how it is completely opposite to what I had planned a few years back.

I don't want to go out. I don't want to go meet new people. I don't want to watch TV or eat or shop. I sleep so much now and when I wake up, I'm still exhausted. I'm sure it's partially the weather's fault. But it's mostly my own; I need to snap out of my funk.

So, here's the thing that's gettin' me: everyone has a goddamned significant other. I swear. Everytime I turn around, someone else is happy or laughing or making out with a boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife.

Now, do I need a man? Fuck no. Financially, I'm doing just fine. More than fine. I'm making more money now than I ever thought I'd make in my life. My job's relatively cool. I'm getting a new place--buying it, too! I kill my own spiders, make my own meals, know how to fix my own broken toilets, etc.

But as strong and as independent as I am, I want someone to share my life with. Sorry if that makes me sound desperate. I'm not, though--because I'm not going to settle. I'm better off being alone than settling. But I guess I'm just hoping that 'alone' isn't my only option...

Because alone is very lonely right now.

And despite my awesome friends being there for me and trying to make me feel better, it isn't working. Thanks guys--I know you're trying.

Oh, well...guess I just gotta snap out of it.